She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
