all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
PANTIES FOUND
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
