you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have aggressive nipples.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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