i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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