I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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