so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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