ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he fucked my hip out of place.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
