do herpes really smell.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
