Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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