I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
