i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
