I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
