This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You've changed since you got that strap on
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
