The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
