Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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