Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
