32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
