The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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