he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
