Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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