that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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