Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
