She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
