i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
