If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Someone shit on the floor
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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