Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
