So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
