You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
