I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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