I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
