i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
