with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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