OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
