my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
