I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
