im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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