i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize