I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
