Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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