i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
