it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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