Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
