her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
