Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
