Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
