dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
