I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
