No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize