Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
