he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
