..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
