you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
